The Thing That Ate Everything
by Pyjamapants
Summary: Pretty self explanatory. This was supposed to be funny, but you might just find it wierd.


The Thing That Ate Everything

'Don't open the closet! Don't open the closet!' Cody whispered fretfully as his brother, Zack, reached for the handle.

'C'mon – what's the worst that could happen?' Zack asked. A dozen answers sped through Cody's mind, but he wasn't quick enough. Suddenly, Zack lunged forward and pulled the closet open. A disgusting, flea-ridden slobbering creature bounded out of the closet and landed on top of Cody.

'Help! It's eating my face!' Cody cried out, but Zack just rolled over in peals of laughter. When Scamp had finished licking at Cody's face, the excited dog proceeded to nibble on his ears.

Cody scrambled to his feet and hit Zack on the back of the head with his palm. 'Thanks for helping – what if that'd been a real monster?' Zack simply said 'I told you Maddie was letting us look after him for a while!' and rolled his head back, howling with laughter, and Scamp felt inclined to join in.

A few minutes later, Moseby burst into the room. 'If the Hounds of the Baskervilles' duet is finished, some of our guests are trying to sleep!' he cried.

'What?' Zack exclaimed incredulously. 'It's only five past six!' he pointed to an analogue clock on the floor.

'No…' Mr Moseby picked it up and flipped it upside down. 'Twenty-five minutes to one,' he said.

'Oops…'

'Oops, indeed – now get to bed! If I hear one more sound coming from this suite, I will personally make sure that you are shipped to the Tipton Aberdeen, where the only person you will have for company is the man who cleans out the toilets!' He slammed the door as he left.

'Stupid Roman numerals,' Zack grumbled as he put the clock back beside his bed. 'When are we ever going to go to Rome, anyway?' Cody was about to tell him to shut up and go to sleep, when there was a flash of lightning and a roll of thunder. Scamp's ears flattened against his head and he whimpered softly.

'Zack,' Cody whispered. 'Are you awake?' There was no response. 'Zack? Zack!' Cody picked up a large book and threw it at his sleeping sibling. Zack grunted and sat up, clutching his stomach.

'What?' he said angrily.

'I said, are you awake?'

'I bloody well am now!'

'Oh good, I was worried I would wake you.' Zack glared at him. 'Can I sleep in your bed tonight?' Cody said over another clap of thunder.

'Cody, if I had to choose between letting you sleep in my bed, or letting the man who cleans out the toilets in Aberdeen sleep with me, I'd pick "Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop1" every time.'

'I'd keep that to myself if I was you…'

'What?' Zack said sharply

'…Come here Scamp!' Cody called to the dog lying on the floor. Scamp bounded up onto the bed and lay next to the young boy, nuzzling his nose into Cody's bed. 'Yeah, we don't need mean Zacky-Wacky…' Zack grunted and rolled over. 'We don't need that Meanie-Weanie…' Zack shut his eyes and tried to block it out. 'We don't need that Meanie-Weanie, Zacky-Wacky, Fatty-Watty, do we?'

Zack sat bolt upright. 'Fatty?' he said quietly, his eyes ablaze. 'NO ONE CALLS ME FATTY!' he yelled, and leapt from his bed at Cody, who laughed and moved swiftly out of the way. Zack looked up, and was about to lunge again, when he saw a pair of huge yellow eyes staring in at the window. He screamed and stumbled back to where Cody was sitting, petrified.

Carrie leapt through the window, her bright yellow eyes staring, and her face and skin completely covered with thick brown fur. Scamp growled, and Carrie let out an inhuman roar, leaping forward.

'Aha!' cried Mr Moseby, bursting in through the door. 'I've got you now! Off to Aberdee-Aaargh!' he screamed as he saw the creature on Zack's bed, literally ripping the poor dog to shreds. Blood was splattered up the walls, across the ceiling, and on the floor, and the bed was a tangled mess of ripped sheets, matted fur, and blood.

Carrie turned from the dead carcass of what was a dog, but now looked more like a raw liver, wrapped up in a fur coat, and then sat on by Agnes. She snarled as she stared at Moseby's pulsing jugular, and his sweating brow.

'Now Mrs Martin, that's not very nice to kill a dog on Zack's bed is it? So why don't you just calm down and have a nice relaxing shave? Your facial hair is getting a bit-…' Carrie pounced on the trembling hotel manager, and sank her fangs deep into his neck, ripping out his throat, and making short work of his shirt.

Blood spurted out across the room, and struck Cody in the face, temporarily blinding him. 'Come on!' Zack cried, pulling Cody out of the room, leaving their mother to gorge upon the ample amount of edible flesh that was Moseby's body.

When they reached the door, Zack fumbled with the handle, making him more nervous, and making him fumble even more. Suddenly, an object came hurtling through the open bedroom door, and hit the wall beside Zack. He screamed as he realised it was Mr Moseby's severed head. His cold lifeless eyes stared up at Zack, and Zack gagged as blood poured from Moseby's mouth onto the floor.

'Quickly!' Cody yelled as he opened the door, and at the same instant, Carrie left the bedroom. 'Hurryuphurryuphurryuphurryuphurryup!' Cody yelled as Carrie hurtled toward the door. Seconds before she could get through, Zack and Cody slammed the door in her face.

'Thank God!' they sighed in unison as they leaned back against the door. Suddenly, a hairy fist splintered the wood between them and began clawing at the two twins. They screamed and ran down the stairs.

'How long do you think the door will hold?' Cody asked, wiping the blood from his face as they hurried down the stairs. There was a loud crash somewhere above them.

'I'd say until about ten seconds ago,' Zack replied, trying to get the image of Moseby's bloodstained head out of his mind. 'Let's go find Arwin – he'll know what to do!'

The twins burst into Arwin's office and started yelling at him wildly, until he shouted out 'Rabbits eat their own poo!' Zack and Cody took a step back in disgust. 'Arwin!' Cody cried, 'our mom's a dog!' Arwin looked aghast.

'What? But that's impossible!'

'We know!'

'Your mother can't possibly be a dog – she's the most beautiful, kind, and sensitive woman I've ever met!'

'NO! We mean she's a werewolf!'

'No, I know she's just playing hard to get!'

'By turning into a malicious beast and slaughtering everything in sight?'

'Exactly! The little teaser…'

'Arwin! She is _really_ a werewolf! She is going to come down here and slaughter us unless you think of something!'

Arwin stood up, a look of horror on his face. 'Desperate times call for desperate measures!' he said, taking out a key from his pocket. He used the key to open a drawer in his desk, which contained another key. He used this key to open a secret compartment in the wall. He tapped a four-digit number into a small keypad in the wall, and it revealed a large gun, resembling a cross between a video camera, a bazooka, and a small painted wooden duck.

'What's with all the security, Arwin?' Zack asked, mouth agape.

'If this got into the wrong hands, who knows what they could do…'

'Can I hold it?' Zack said.

'Sure!' Arwin tossed it to him.

'So, what does it do, and how will it help?'

'I just said, who knows what it could do – but whatever it does, I'm sure it will stop your mother!'

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. 'Oh, that'll be the pizza guy!' Arwin said, getting up. 'Wait!' Cody said. '_Who is it?'_ he asked in a high-pitched falsetto voice.

'Pizza guy'

'_Are you sure?'_

'Pretty sure, yeah.'

'_Are you sure you're not an evil werewolf in disguise?'_

'Look, do you want this pizza or not?'

'Yes, please' Arwin said, stepping forward and unlocking the door. Seconds later, Carrie bounded in and tore him in half. 'Ow,' Arwin said, as he fell to the floor.

'Haha!' Zack cried, aiming the gun at his mother. 'Prepare to be…whatever.' He pulled the trigger, and the cogs and wheels inside began turning and whirring. Everyone, including Arwin, stared as the machine slowly lit up, the LEDs coming on, and beeping sounds being emitted. Suddenly, a ghastly, unearthly sound filled the room as the "weapon" came on.

'So put your little hand in mine, there ain't no hill or mountain we can't-…2' 

'That's not supposed to happen!' Zack, Cody and Arwin said in unison.

'Although,' Arwin added, 'it explains why my mother never wrote to thank me for that CD player I sent her…' he was cut short as Carrie ripped his heart out of his chest. 'Carrie…you stole my heart long before you ripped it out of my chest…' he whispered, before Carrie tore off his head and sucked out the delicious, gooey, raw insides.

'Aargh!' the twins screamed again, as they ran back into the lobby. They crashed into Maddie, who was working night shift (surprisingly exciting, considering nothing ever, _ever_ happens). 'What are you two doing up and about?' she exclaimed, 'and you'd better not say "a Maddie-craving," because it won't work.'

'Our Mom's a werewolf!' Cody cried.

'Don't worry, Scamp will protect us - where is he anyway?'

'Smeared over the ceiling, carpet, and walls of our bedroom – not to mention all over Zack's bed!'

'NOOOOOOO! How, how, how? Why is the world so cruel and unjust? Why must the innocent pay? WHY?'

'And Carrie got Moseby and Arwin too!' Zack exclaimed.

'Oh, well, can't be helped now – no use crying over spilt milk eh?' A hand appeared on Cody's shoulder. 'Aargh!' he yelled.

'Don't worry, little blonde peoples – it is only me! Now, what is all this screaming about, and why are you up so late?'

'Why are you up so late?'

'I keep telling myself not to loose Dudley, my pet chicken, but I always do.'

'Loose?'

'What was the screaming about then?' Esteban asked in an attempt to divert the topic slightly.

'Oh,' Maddie said, 'Carrie's a werewolf.'

'Oh, I see! How fun!' Cody was about to point out that this was the farthest thing from fun when Arwin's head flew through the door and landed in Zack's arms. Arwin's left eye had been sucked out, and the left-hand side of his face was a bloody mass.

'Aargh!' he yelled, tossing it in the air, where Esteban caught it.

'Hot potato!' Esteban cried, throwing it to Cody, who just stood there and screamed as what was left of Arwin's face peeled off, leaving a bleached white skull behind, and a face on Cody's arm.

Carrie raced into the room, and bounded toward Cody, her blood-red tongue lolling out between her bloodstained teeth. She reached her son who had fallen strangely silent, and opened her mouth wide over Cody's blood-drenched hand.

'No!' Esteban said, flicking her on the nose. 'Bad Carrie - don't eat people!'

'Where did you learn that?' Maddie asked, amazed.

'Whenever Dudley misbehaves, I flick him on the nose and he stops immediately. The same is with werewolfs.'

'Erm, I don't think so,' Cody said, pointing at Esteban's hand, which had already been torn off and chewed up. Carrie leapt forward and bit him in the torso, tearing through the flesh, and allowing blood and other bodily fluids to run into the stomach and lungs.

Esteban coughed, and blood and phlegm flew out and hit Cody in the face. Cody, Zack, and Maddie ran swiftly out of the room, leaving Esteban to gag on his own inhaled blood, as he watched Carrie tear through his internal organs and eat them before his very eyes, which soon became splattered with blood and pus from the gaping wound in his torso.

Maddie, Zack and Cody ran through room after room, each filled with putrid corpses, and blood smeared across the walls in the shape of fingers and hands. Apparently, Carrie's victims had attempted to claw their way through the walls before they were clawed through, themselves.

'Oh my God!' Maddie cried. 'That thing ate everything!'

'What ate everything?' London said, walking slowly into the room, looking disdainfully at the carpet. 'You know,' she said 'that shade of red really does not go with this furniture – and look at those horrible clothes!' she gestured at the dead bodies on the floor.

'London – they're dead!'

'That's no excuse! I wouldn't be seen dead in those clothes, they're all ripped and stained!'

'London, Carrie has turned into a monster, and it has eaten everything!'

'It ate everything?'

'Yes,' Maddie said.

'Even Surge?'

'The concierge?' Cody asked

'Yes. And yes it did – it ate everything,' Zack said

'What about Muriel?'

'It ate everything!' the three said in unison.

'Not Moseby too?'

'It ate EVERYTHING!'

'What about-…'

'Everything, London, everything!'

'Oh, I see! I know what you should do.'

'What?' the three said excitedly.

'Get some new clothes – those are horrible!'

Suddenly, there was a loud bang, as Carrie hurtled into the room. The fur on her face was matted together with blood, and her teeth were completely stained. Carrie snarled as she stalked toward Maddie, teeth bared. She jumped forward, knocking her prey to the floor. Maddie wrestled with the thing that ate everything with all her might.

'Well help then!' she cried to the three others, standing there with gormless expressions. Zack leapt forward and knocked Carrie to the floor. Suddenly, there was a loud bang, and blood began to leak from the creature's chest.

Everyone in the room turned their head to the doorway, and saw none other than-

'Adamant Tipton! I knew you'd come daddy!' London cried.

'That's Wilfred,' Maddie whispered.

'Whatever.' Suddenly, Carrie leapt up and knocked Zack down as she pounced on the owner of the Hotel. There were three more bangs, and Carrie fell off the man. Everyone cheered, until Zack and Cody remembered that it was their mother.

'She has to get to hospital now!' Cody cried. Wilfred, who had been busy gazing at a cut on his hand, glanced up, a yellow gleam in his eye.

'I'll drive – I want to see that beautiful full moon…'


End file.
